I was going to do it. I was going to let my 16 year old daughter and her friend paint her room, She had been begging me for a few weeks now and told me the colors and design she wanted. Finally, I relented and we bought the paint together. I still remember the colors: Shrek green and magenta. The plan was green walls with some type of magenta striped design.
At this point, my conservative inner voice is fighting with my desire to give my daughter a space that’s hers and she has created. I can always paint over it when she moves out or she gets tired of it… that’s what I tell myself. My other fear is the mess. “Please clean up your mess when you’re done girls,” I admonish.
After I help them, get paint brushes, move furniture and put down plastic and watch as they start putting up the blue painters tape for her design. I leave to do errands. I can’t resist another direction before I leave. “Try not to get any paint on the wood please,” I say as nonchalantly as possible.
Upon my return a few hours later, I find both of the girls in the backyard painting the basketball hoop backboard. Shrek green and magenta. I later discover that my garbage can is painted with a magenta heart and the saying I “heart” U. Upset, I give them a lecture, help them clean up and send the friend home.
Over the years, I’ve appreciated the heart garbage can. Especially on those windy days when my trash can blows away. I know exactly which one is mine. And my perspective has changed from annoyance to…. something else.
Fast forward 25 years. My daughter is married, graduated from college and living in Nashville. The basketball backboard has been painted over white. But the garbage can heart remains. I love it. My heart is happy each time I take out the garbage.
Vanessa's Voice 
Wow! You were brave letting your daughter and her friend paint her room (and a few other things). I do not think I’d be so brave. My husband is somewhat of a perfectionist when it comes to painting, so the only room I’ve ever painted in 30 years of marriage is our laundry room at our cabin. It is a leaf green, probably a shade or two darker than the shrek green of your daughter’s choice. I was proud when I did it and I am sure your daughter was too. It’s funny how over the years our perspective changes…..I love that you see the garbage can in a different light. Great post!
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I can relate to you also.. if I wanted something painted, I’d start the project and my husband could not stand it, so would eventually grab the paintbrush and take over!
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You gave your daughter a gift by allowing her to paint her room. It’s a real gesture of independence and critical thinking. I once talked my son out of painting his room black. We settled on a deep blue. I miss his art projects: painting, building skateboard ramps, digging forts. I miss it all.
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Your story show so much about a mother’s love. And how little mess-ups later bring back memories. I relate to your story of a mother now only surrounded with memories as my girls are grown and off too. But hints of them live on all around me. Thanks for bringing back my memories through your slice.
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Yesterday I read a post about how objects hold stories and today, here is your wonderful story. Anyone over the years would just see a uniquely painted garbage can but what they wouldn’t know is the story behind it. Thanks for a great post.
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I love how you portray the change in perspective from the earlier years to present day. Your word choices were stronger when your daughter was a teen “admonish,” “mess,” “lecture.” Happy you have a remnant of that painting spree to remind you of a daughter who is no longer living in the green and magenta room she self-painted.
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I didn’t even notice that… thanks for this comment that touched me.
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I think that “yes” is one of our most powerful weapons as parents. Shrek green and magenta doesn’t sound like something I’d want to look at, but that’s what doors are for! I love the garbage can–and that you’ve kept it all these years.
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Love this perspective piece. when they were little, like really little, my sons and i painted a tiny basement bathroom. it was crazy and i don’t think their mom loved it. but we’ll always remember that crazy little bathroom and the day we painted it. thanks for sharing!
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This is a great perspective. I find that I feel differently than I used to when I was younger and in many ways that’s a good thing 🙂
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How strange. Shrek green and magenta? Glad you still have those memories and reminders!
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Isn’t it amazing how our perspectives can as we grow older? When we want to let go and give our children wings, we sometimes think choice but we need to do so. I applaud you for taking a risk.
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She works staging homes and design and majored in art in college. Although her tastes have improved!
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You’ve done such a great job of capturing the pull between giving your daughter space to paint and wanting it to fit your aesthetic. The garbage can sounds like a sweet reminder of when she was still at home and this gift of agency that you gave your daughter.
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That’s awesome! What a great gift to give your daughter. and brave. Love the heart on the garbage can.
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Awesome! What a great memory.
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I can feel the tension you were feeling but I can see now that you are so happy that you let her express herself, especially now that you have that heart garbage can to look at every day.
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Your title fits your slice so well! I love that you kept the heart on the garbage can. That is your reminder, isn’t it? What seems like a really big deal in the moment often fades as the years go by.
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Beautiful post. The end felt like a hug.
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