Day #25 #SOL17
Thank you for the phone call last night. Our talks mean a lot to me. You don’t always just talk, but you listen too. Thanks for asking about my day even when you’ve had such a bad day yourself.
Last night you were very upset and worried about your son. My grandson who is four years old and autistic. I heard your worries about him. Is he in the right preschool? Do they understand him? Do they realize how smart he is even when he can’t express himself clearly? Why is he upset and waking up in the middle of the night? Are the other kids and his teachers being kind to him? The sound in your voice was sheer despair.
You started working this year and it’s been difficult to trust him with others. I also heard doubt in your own abilities. Does he have enough therapies? Did I do the right thing going back to work? Am I doing enough to help my son?
Is it my fault?
Dearest daughter…. you are the most determined and stubborn child that I have ever known. You are a creative thinker and problem solver. If anyone can do this, you can.
I need you to know that there is not one “right” way to handle life. Being a mother of any child is filled things we could have or should have done “better”, but we are human and not perfect. We do the best we can. Your son is a beautiful, healthy, loving child with a grin as big and wide as the cheshire cat. You have always followed your insights and been inspired to do the best thing for him despite the unabashed judgements of others.
You are fine. Breath. I’m here for you, to listen and support.
With love and respect,